Keyword: Craig Marshall Smith
24 results total, viewing 1 - 20

Human-dog relationship offers something to sink teeth into

When my DVD remote was being made, they added beef flavoring to the liquid plastic before it was molded. That’s the only explanation I can think of. It went missing. I finally located it under the … more

Day-by-day for 20 years adds up to just one day

Unless they have taken it all down, there are still some reminders at my alma mater that I passed through there 20 years ago. I donated three or four paintings, maybe more. I can’t remember. I was … more

Would you rather be this or that — or that or this?

Would you rather be rich or famous? Questions like this are fun but fruitless. Let’s have some fruitless. (Disregard that some of your options are deceased.) Would you rather be one of the Beatles … more

Teams sign anyone for a `W,’ and sports go straight to `L’

I lost out. Or lucked out. When I was (much) younger, I thought about becoming a sports writer, partly because of my admiration for Jim Murray, whom I read daily in The Los Angeles Times throughout … more

Any excuse for littering is just so much rubbish

John Lennon said, “Littering is easy with eyes closed.” Littering is easy and it’s fun and it’s a great way to thumb your nose at that arcane word “civility,” which has gone down the … more

Wishing it were earlier in the late-night world

I am drifting into obscurity and irrelevance, and there is no known cure, except to lie about it, and to pretend I know what is going on. I used to be current. I used to know these people, these … more

We are rooted in memory, until it leaves us rootless

One of my readers — “Gary” — thanked me for a column I had written about barking dogs that he mailed to a neighbor, after his own words didn’t make a dent. My column made a dent, and I said … more

If I’m accused of taking pictures, I can’t claim that I was framed

Take a picture. It lasts longer. That’s my motto. I have over 10 million photographs, maybe more. My friends call me “F-Stop Fitzgerald.” I take pictures everywhere I go. I mean it. In the … more

Look, in a word, the deal is, arguably, pointless

Look, I want everyone to stop saying “look” like I just did, before making a statement. I hear it all the time now. It’s used this way, I’m guessing, to let your listeners know what you are … more

If coffee didn’t exist, it would be hard to swallow

"Coffee drinkers live longer.” Thank you, Joe DiMaggio. “People who drink two to three cups of coffee a day live longer than people who don’t” (U.S. News, July 3). A study shows that I will … more

Being tailgated — there’s something stupid behind it

The first recorded incident of following at an unsafe distance occurred about an hour after the invention of the automobile. Understandably, that wouldn’t have been possible, but it probably … more

Human-dog relationship status: ‘It’s uncomplicated’

Why does your dog lick your face? You say, “My dog doesn’t lick my face.” Do me a favor, and just play along. Your dog licks your face because it tastes like a ham on rye. How can your face … more

Awash in beauty and wonder — that’s just how we roll

Jennifer, Harry, and I went on a road trip. Don’t yawn. Yet. We looped from Littleton to Salida to Monte Vista to Durango to Mesa Verde to Telluride to Gunnison to Littleton, and stopped along the … more

Expect annual boom in lowbrow behavior

It doesn’t hurt to ask, but I know what you’re going to say. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Fourth of July came and went without any residential explosions? They’re illegal. They’re annoying. … more

If you try to be cool, you’re getting colder

Whenever I am facing something I am unable to resolve on my own, I ask, “What would Lincoln do?” Abraham Lincoln is my guidepost, my lighthouse, my lodestar. “The Springfield Redbird” is what … more

There’s a lot to be said for a moment of silence

Man goes to see his doctor and says, “Doc, every time I hit my hand with a hammer it hurts.” Doctor says, “Stop hitting your hand with a hammer.” That’s one of the oldest jokes I’ve ever … more

Life may not be predictable, but graduation speeches are

The invitations have gone out, and once again I didn’t receive one. I wasn’t asked by a single high school, college, or university in the United States to give their commencement speech, even … more

The funny thing about humor is how often it isn’t funny

An ice cream truck used to appear every day at the parks where I played when I was a kid. Its infectious little tune made my mouth water. I think now it would drive me to distraction. On each side of … more

Are you sitting down? Better yet, are you lying down surrounded by pillows?

I take the safety of my readers very seriously. Therefore, I’d like to express my deepest condolences in advance to anyone who reads one of my columns while drinking hot coffee, driving, being … more

Puppy love is in bloom as plants are upstaged

May flowers are on the dining room table. They don’t come from my garden. They come from a grocery store. I was diagnosed with a brown thumb. I once had house plants. Not a lot of them, but enough … more
1 | 2 Next »
Currently viewing stories posted within the past 6 months.
For all older stories, please use our advanced search.
Our Papers

Ad blocker detected

We have noticed you are using an ad blocking plugin in your browser.

The revenue we receive from our advertisers helps make this site possible. We request you whitelist our site.